Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Holding Tight While Letting Go

It's complicated, this letting go.

Just as I seem to have found a comfort zone in my job, I turn to nurse a breaking heart as I witness my mother's failing health. There are hearts breaking all around me, as I gather with my father and my siblings. We reach out to hold her up. To lift her. To make her smile. To make her comfortable.

My mother. My dear, dear mother. There is no one in my life who will ever compare. Her love. Her support. Her durable, constant, always thereness. My mother. I cannot imagine life without her. I will never be without her.

My father. His gentle strength and quiet reserve. His adoration for his wife of 60-some years. His desperation at not being able to fix this. Not being able to take care of her.
Not knowing where to turn. His love for her is perfect in this imperfect process.

We are all flummoxed. Afraid and bewildered.

No. Please. Don't let it happen. But it will. It's happening before our eyes. How ever do we say goodbye?